The Clock's Ticking Now

Yeah I know I broke procedural rule #1 of blogging and waited a week to come back -- AND this one is going to be short -- but I have been finding that my 'utilize each day to the fullest mentality' really doesn't leave a lot of spare time.  Plus, this health binge is knocking me out a lot earlier than I'm used to sleeping -- but hey, no excuses, I have more to talk about each post this way. 

As for my previous post's claim that I would be uploading my ideal job submissions, a second thought or two has me reconsidering the merits of that, but I will discuss the types of roles I have been applying to in a later post.  As for interviews, that's the process my next round of posts will be be mostly focused on.

Until then, #givememoore (geek in-joke -- see transcript from NICE conference, subject: stan lee)

When the going gets tough, use it as an opportunity

ShawnLog 9/16/12: My Crummy Monday Morning:

Woke up feeling sicker than I have in at least a year - and I only had one drink yesterday!  Must've been those last few chicken wings, and they were so good ...  anyways, so I tried hitting the gym and downing as much coconut water as possible to avoid it throwing off my day -- but I ended up having to leave after 20 minutes and then took an angry (non-sleeping) nap and have been shaking off irritation at nothing and everything in particular ever since. 

Add to that a few unexpected fees from my student loans coming in the mail (routing number has apparently changed since I switched my debit card -- IMO the ACS/ECSI Student Loan borrower sites are not designed for clear account monitoring) and now I have nothing left on the day's agenda but a doctor's appointment I'd much rather not go to and a trip over to AT&T to fork over money I don't have for a contract I really don't need in my life (but have to take or else I will end up paying more because I am already in a contract thanks to my mom who didn't realize she was signing me up for it last year... yeah, it's one of those deals) and you have the makings for one rough start to my week.

Worst of all is I still haven't spent even a single second on the job-hunt -- and all I can say about that is Huuurumph!

But being grouchy and allowing the poison of self-pity to take root is the enemy of progress, I know this because I've done it before and refuse to waste time in that frame of mind again.

According to the Dali Lama, who's teachings may be even more profound than the one's found in the other book I'm reading currently... (http://books.google.com/books/about/Arnold_s_Bodybuilding_for_Men.html?id=sB1q0I-P5h8C) mastering one's mental defenses against negative frames of thought is one of the most important life-long pursuits for anyone who wishes to lead a peaceful life.  And considering I have it pretty easy compared to some of the other Buddhist teachers he mentions -- I think I can learn to get over these little bumps in the road without letting them effect myself in a deep or lasting way.

The important thing I have to try and remember on days like these is that, when little things pile up and I start to feel discouraged about my day/position in life/etc... I should just stop and take the time to look at the day as an great opportunity for inner growth. The better I can get at overcoming life's little foibles now, the better I'll be when they occur on a day when I have something important going on like an interview -- or more to the point, when I'm having a tough day at my next job.

So with that in mind, I'm off to make the most of my day -- thinking of it as an opportunity to turn a tough morning into a productive day and an empowering building experience for the future.

Until next time, True Believers.

The Simple Joy of Doing Homework

It's Sunday and I am looking back on a very productive week that leaves me feeling ready (and hungry) for the next one. 

First-off, I have completely rebuilt my Portfolio from the ground-up, and am happy with the place it's in now.  I feel like it's finally in-shape enough to be the sidekick my resume deserves -- a Dick Grayson as opposed to the Jason Todd I'd been working with, if you will...

Secondly, my Reel has been updated with a link to my fully-updated Behance Pro Website -- http://sperry88.prosite.com -- that includes a comprehensive collection of my favorite film projects from Clark U. and Patch.com, several of which I have touched-up, which was a very fun process for me as an editor.  Final Cut Pro drives me crazy sometime, but every time I return from a long break I find myself realizing how much I really missed the old bird. There are still a few more projects I want to add to the site, after some more tinkering, in addition to a few new projects I'm working on (including a sizzle reel) but that's just fine by me... I've got the time and am absolutely loving the recent return of one of my favorite hobbies.

Thirdly, I have completely re-written all of my cover letters for each of my ideal companies, and will continue to do so with each new application. While I now have a wide array of templates to work from, I believe that the specific integration of each prospective role is essential to making me stand out as an enthusiastic and high-quality candidate.  Plus, it helps me to consider why I would be a good fit for the role, as in some cases, I end up realizing that my time may be better spent pursing other opportunities. 

So all-in-all, I think it's been a good week for my Transition Period -- while I didn't fill out any new job applications, I sharpened all my tools so that I will be ready to apply with confidence to my next "dream" role.  Additionally, I took the time to do some very thorough research on several companies I'm interested in, such as; Non-Profits programs like Americorps Vista and NCCC, Connecticut businesses like ESPN and AEG, and World-Wide brands with strong entry-level career programs like CBS and Disney.  In so doing, I have a better understanding of the sort of roles I'm looking for, and, perhaps more importantly, an even better understanding of the kind of roles I'm not looking for. Going forward, I am going to keep a comprehensive record of all the roles I apply for, and keep a list of my favorites so that I will know what I should, and should not, be looking for in my next job.

Until next time, true believers.

My (New) Spanish Caravan

In my on-going process to re-edit and re-organize my film portfolio, I came across an old project that seemed to mesh pretty well with the editing tools on youtube.  Being that it was shot on a high-quality camera (it was part of my New York Film Academy experience) it was a natural fit for these tools.  I'd forgotten how rewarding the production process could be...in that a little ingenuity and time could turn a forgotten old project that never garnered much attention in something completely new and unique.

Fun times... :)

Survival Skills

Another day of learning how to be unemployed -- which, when done with a positive and productive attitude, is surprisingly busy. 

If you'll recall from my last couple posts, I had been a bit anxious over the notion of starting over in a new city, which, after a little calm rationalizing, has become less of an issue... I've accepted my situation and am ready to face it without fear.  Focusing on the positive -- I am more focused than ever on getting a job that speaks to my passions -- I realize that, in the past, to my own detriment  have pursued quote-on-quote "responsible" professional endeavors... avoiding tackling my heart's desire in favor of getting money in the bank and building up contacts and most of all control.

Retrospectively, I think that more than anything, I desired the power and autonomy that comes with a business experience and a good paycheck. I had a picture in my head of how to build a good life as a 23-year old -- and it involved getting a nice little apartment in Brooklyn, a hipster female friend or two, and a Craigslist-formed cover band to perform my favorite tracks from Fun's latest album.  My job was a means to this end, and from there I could think about developing my "real" life. 

The feeling of having gone to New York and been one of the first of my class to, against all odds, "make it" was what kept me going even after I discovered that the job wasn't what I had hoped it would become and had essentially become my entire life. 

I've come to realize that what I was pursing wasn't all that important at the end of the day...I was just idealizing a modern-materialistic fantasy...albeit a liberal-minded one. Yes, I had a well-paying job and spent the same (fiscally-responsible) amount that I do now, but it doesn't make me any happier than I was with nothing in the bank. The things that make me happy are good relationships (free), fitness (almost free), making films and music (free after a few investments), reading new books (free, as well as books on tape which I've been getting really into lately) and most of all -- learning new perspectives about life and developing different/positive ways of thinking (free...and priceless).

So, what am I taking from all this cliche'd protagonist catharsis? Well, that I need to find a job that I can not only be successful at -- but that I truly feel happy doing.  I also need to maintain a healthy lifestyle that coexists with my professional life -- no more putting things like friends/family on lay-away.  Lastly, I need to learn to be happy in the moment -- as opposed to thinking about periods of my life as stepping stones or means to ends. 

I felt so lost after losing my job in New York and moving back to Connecticut, like I'd left my whole life behind, but in reality... I'd just had an experience.  And a pretty good one at that, in that I learned a lot and am a better, more humble person for it.  Yes its over, and yes I wish it wasn't over or had ended differently, but it didn't kill me!  I'm still free to pursue my dreams...and maybe this will free me up to find an even better role that I wouldn't have found had I been still working there. I know it's optimistic -- but it's not an entirely crazy notion either... And I could learn to be more optimistic.

My name is Shawn Perry and I have always wanted to work in film/television broadcasting.  I am a card-carrying creative type ready to dedicate myself to dual-success in my next opportunity -- both professional and personal -- but first, I am going to take my time and find the right opportunity. Whether its in Connecticut or California -- New York City, Midland Texas or Montreal, I am not afraid to put it all on the line and start over again somewhere new.

It might take more time than I want it to... I know that there will be frustrations and new challenges... and that, most of all, it will take faith... but at the end of this road I know I will be better for the experience.  Because there will be no quit in me -- no matter how many road bumps and transition periods life has in store for me on the way... I-will succeed. 

Because, as I've come to know, that's just what it takes to survive in this world... and I choose to survive.  There is no other choice. 

Plus, if I can overcome all that from this first big job experience -- I can only imagine what strength I'll gain from my next Transition Period.

Until next time, True Believers.

A Better Tomorrow

Phew -- I could barely avoid thinking about my job-search for a moment during my self-imposed break from the process. Time really drags without the structure of a full-time position.  It really puts my adolescent "but I don't wanna go to school" phase into a new perspective... what-a-wimp !

Side-Bar: My computer is just being down-right cruel to me lately.  My keyboard keeps on selecting and deleting every sentence I type, so I have to go very slow to avoid losing all my work as I do it.  I guess this is the ghost in the machine's way of teaching me to be more cognizant of what I'm putting out there.  That or my computer's just got it in for me, take your pick.

I've spent the last couple days uploading and editing old projects so I can have a stronger reel/portfolio for prospective creative jobs.  I am seeing a recruiter Monday at an agency called the Creative Group in Hartford, which sounds promising so I was motivated to get as much done as possible this week. Link's below -- feel free to check it out.

Behance Pro Website (Continually will be a Work-in-Progress)

Self-Psychoanalysis: The extra time off has helped me really hone in on what's been holding me back from moving forward with my search in Connecticut/New York/etc... I have let go of the past and accept that the most important thing for me to do right now is gain relevant experience as a professional.  If I keep holding out for that perfect opportunity, I'll never get back to work -- which will just make me more discouraged.

I've been too demanding of the world, and I to have to learn to treat my career as a long process, like working out, where I have to build up my skills through lots of practice and focused training. Many people before have had setbacks like mine, but the one's that stayed positive and always looked at life as an opportunity are the one's who look back on their careers with pride. I want to be one of those people, but it starts with my own humility, and in learning how to forgive myself for my mistakes, learn from them and move on.

My dreams aren't dead, I just have to accept that the path to true happiness as a professional isn't always something you can map -- but something you just have to experience for yourself. I've definitely gotta keep working on my attitude, and use every day as an opportunity for new experiences -- no matter how tough it might feel without the helpful structures I've had in the past (school, jobs, etc).

As my Mom has said many a time (today included): "This too shall pass." If I remember that, I can find the hope I need to get to a better tomorrow...and hopefully, still a very bright future.

Until next time.

Morning Glory -- What's My Story? Why I Beady Eye?

Taking a little time-off from the job applications, as I'm starting to feel a bit over-whelmed by all the different directions I have running through my brain... I have to consolidate what I'm looking for a bit more and that has to start with some tough distinctions: 

Do I really want to pursue a life in NYC?  Would I be doing myself a disservice not to keep trying to build my professional life there?  The energy of the city felt so right with me sometimes, and it's absence is growing more noticeable.

But what about the opportunity here?  Free rent and family support -- plus old friends and no new apartment bills?  But would I be happy taking a job here in CT, when I know that the networking and career growth opportunities are centralized in the city?  

And what about my old Hollywood fantasies -- I've never even visited and now might be as good a time as ever for taking chances?

It's almost a curse to have this kind of freedom -- I can't make heads or tails of what I "should" do, and my heart is still having a hard time getting past the recent blow to the ego.  Lately, I have this huge chip on my shoulder urging me to get back on the media planning horse -- partly because I know that type of experience can take me to where I want to go in the future, but I also because (rational or not) I feel that I have to prove I can do it since my last media planning gig turned out to be such a harsh lesson. 

It doesn't help that right when I was really starting to understand (and by proxy; enjoy) my responsibilities as a media planner, I was let go and had to start my career-building process all over again.  Bottom line -- I'm having a hard time figuring out if the role is right for me, or if I'm just doing it because I'm afraid that I'm not doing it because I fear failing again.  I want to follow my heart but I don't trust it anymore, and that's why I'm taking a few days to stop and take on other projects. 

In my free time I've been plenty busy -- catching up with a couple old friends from high school, posting some old projects from college for the first time, and re-editing them a bit (see attached), fixing up my production reel for future applications, working on my mother's wedding video -- and I've been toying with a few side-projects that I'll bring up in another post.

Also -- getting up early is still an on-going process I want to improve in -- maybe I should keep a letter to myself next to my bed everyday so I remember my motivation because it's tough to recall when the sun's up and I feel like the only one left in the world without a job.  I can't imagine being in the city would make dealing with these emotions any easier -- but it's tough escaping a feeling of exile when waking up in my childhood bed after a year living in the world's liveliest community.

Anyways, until next time, keeping my head up and my eyes forward true believers.

 

When It Rains it Pours

So it's been a weekend and change since my last post and I have been keeping busy with a wide-range of activities.

I have been using my extra-time to study up on nutrition books and work-out techniques both online and from a book I got at the local library.  Unfortunately, as the books is an Arnold Schwarzenegger guide to Body-Building from I think the 70's some of it's recommendations are out of date.  For example, I know next to nothing about wellness in resistance training, but I'm pretty sure that doing every body part (legs, arms, shoulders, back, chest) every other day is not the way to start small.  Still, good guide and explanations for various exercises, I think I'll keep it for a week or so and learn what I can and then trade up to something past the Reagan era.

So today I got a few calls right in a row (wink wink to the title of post) -- one from a local agency that is high on my list for CT-based options -- and then one from an old NYC contact who had an offer for a networking event tonight in the city.  It does feel like I'm being pulled back there, but it's also a lot more money to get set-up in the city again and I won't do it unless I can do it the right way.  My own place, a job from the start, and a healthy lifestyle from day one.  Last time I spent too much time focused on making connections and building a support group from scratch -- whereas here I already have that in my family and even a few old friends that have come back to the area.  While I'm not at square one in that department back in New York, it's hard to plan out my return in hypothetical's -- and even harder to attend crucial networking events and job opportunities when I'm living back home.  I try to remember: The choices have to be my own -- that's how I will grow from this.

Deep down I feel like things such as location and initial comfort levels shouldn't matter to me when I'm making professional decisions, but it's hard to ignore these factors after such a turbulent experience.  I need to have the will-power to wait for the right opportunity, both professionally and personally, and while I am still pursuing/researching roles in CT as well as NY -- it's hard to play both fields -- even though CT is more like a batter's mound to New York's two baseball stadiums of professional opportunity.

One thing I know for certain -- I've got to make this choice not based on fear -- but by what I believe is the best opportunity for me.  It's not a trifle thing taking on a new career path,  and if an easy way out comes along, I have to have the strength to not take it.  That's the hardest part.

Until next time...